The Stripper Pole News

Hi!  My name is Candy, and here are tonight's top stories...

Watching TeeVee after a hiatus of a decade is interesting.  They've changed a lot of things in the interim.  There are a lot more ads, and more and more of them are for odious financial deals or prescription medications.  But the news programs are really bizarre.  For some reason, the news networks, particularly CNN, have fired all their anchors and replaced them with strippers.

I am not kidding, either.  These new anchorwomen are very young, have enormous breasts and are showing a little cleavage to the viewers.  Some of them sound dumber than a post.  They actually giggle.  You've come a long way, baby.  Maybe not.

Fox News preaches moral values and decries the decline of the family.  But that doesn't prevent them from playing titty peek-a-boo on the air.

What is going on here?  Well, it is obvious, of course.  They want to get you to watch, and one way to get that male 15-35 demographic - which the advertisers love - is to fling titties in their faces.  And they will tune in, night after night - to watch ads for all sorts of bad bargains.

One Canadian Broadcaster has apparently decided to cut to the chase, and just feature real strippers, who remove their clothes with every news item.

Cutting to the chase, one Canadian company is turning the news into a strip show.

“Our intention at Naked News is to be a global media source, much like CNN or BBC World. We are looking forward to expanding into other languages as well, because there is definitely a market demanding our brand of infotainment,” Naked News founder David Warga said in a press release.

Fox clearly is behind the 8-ball, here.